Be sure to check out my E-Books through Amazon.com.
Strategies to Beat Depression. Depression, Get Rid Of It Now. Don’t Let Depression Stop You.
And if you want more on values, beliefs and life philosophies, be sure to read this.
How To Find Your Self Through Personal Values: Gain Self Satisfaction and Life Satisfaction: Journey To Your Excellence Within: Limited Discount Edition
Get your own kindle copy to keep forever.
It is the beginning of the holiday season once again. My favorite holiday is probably Thanksgiving Day. You don’t have to worry about finding the right gifts for all the significant people in your life. You simply spend time with those you love and those you appreciate and it’s the time to reflect on all for which you are grateful. You get in touch with your blessings. There really isn’t a better day. Everyday should be Thanksgiving.
If we spent a little time each day considering our blessings, we would all feel much better. We would look at the world from a position of gratitude and the negativity would fall away. When you stop and think of your blessings, what happens to your face? Can you feel yourself smile or smirk. Doesn’t it bring joy to heart? Of course it does. Life can be challenging and not every situation brings a smile to your face. You may find yourself disheartened or depressed in some situations. But, stop and think. Look past whatever it is that is bringing you down and focus on something for which you are genuinely grateful. Concentrate on whatever it is that you appreciate and feel blessed for having. Concentrate on that feeling of being blessed. Truly be grateful. Feel the blessing. Realize that you are indeed blessed. Once you really feel the blessing, ask yourself, how did I get this blessing? Where did it come from? Then, realize you are not alone. You are loved. You are indeed blessed. Happy Thanksgiving and give thanks.
If you are having a hard time finding gratitude, feeling blessed and missing joy, don’t get stuck. Reach out and ask for help. Call 516-236-3290 and set up an appointment. You do not have to be in the area. I have sessions in my office, over the phone and of course through Skype. Don’t struggle alone. We all need support.
Happy Mothers Day to all woman who have nurtured and cared for a child, whether or not you gave birth to that child. It takes a village to raise a child and I appreciate all the women in my life who cared for or guided me in my path throughout life. Although mothers have an incredibly important place in our lives, they really could not have done it alone. Grandmothers, aunts, teachers, neighbors and oh so many more contributed to the development of the child and I would love to thank all of them for their input and their caring.
It is true, however, that mothers have that very special place in our hearts and in our lives. When we hurt, they were the first we ran to. Mom would kiss what hurt and make it better! As we got older, and the hurts were not just cuts and bruises, they would try to find the words to make us feel better and help us find a way to make the world make a little more sense. Although my mom is not on this earth any longer, I want to just take a moment to say, “Thanks.” You helped me to accept me and to appreciate my own uniqueness. You helped me to stand strong in what often is a confusing world. And most of all, you always made me feel loved. When life offered it’s greatest challenges leaving me confused and upset, you always let me feel things would work out and I was loved. I miss you Mom and I thank you.
Don’t let this day pass without letting your Mom and all the nurturing women in your life know how much you appreciate them. Take a moment to reflect. Give thanks. And most of all, honor your Mom and all of those exceptional woman who helped you to be the person you are today. Motherhood is a shared experience. Honor those who mothered you.
Life offers challenges and often we may feel we are on a roller coaster. Some days we feel great and we are offered, positive, wonderful experiences and other days we experience events that bring us sadness and strife. Each day brings us an experience to learn from and grow from: yes, even those difficult days.
I like to believe we are placed on earth to school ourselves for the next dimension: that experience of everlasting, eternal bliss. However, there seems to be many lessons we have to learn before we get there. Each time we think we are reaching a state of happiness, something will come up to challenge that state: illness, death, crime, divorce, pain and so much more of what life has to offer. Hence the roller coaster of life. Stuff happens. Life happens. Pain happens. So, what’s it all about? I think it’s about forgiveness. I think that stuff offers us opportunity to forgive.
It’s so easy to get angry. It’s so easy to blame. It’s so easy to feel hurt. It’s so easy to think things are happening to you by others.You are driving, heading toward work and someone cuts you off. You get ticked off and curse or engage in “sign language” you are not proud of. You feel so angry and blame the driver for being willfully obnoxious. Meanwhile, the driver was also driving to work. The driver was actively engaged in thoughts about work. The driver simply was not thinking about his or her driving and made a mistake. Was he really guilty of willfully cutting you off. The driver was literally unconscious. The intent was not to cut you off; the intent was simply to get to work and resolve whatever issue was causing the driver to not concentrate on driving. But you become angry and upset and the whole experience can set the tone for your day. Why ruin your day. Forgive the mistake and continue with your day.I think we often convict others of crimes they really had no intention of committing.
How many times do you get upset with your boss, or your boss gets upset with you or a fellow worker and you don’t understand how the boss can possibly be blaming you or your coworker for something done or not done? You get together with colleagues and create a whole scenario about the situation, with everyone contributing a factor. Ah, but is the factor a fact or have you all just created a story?
It easy and quick to get angry. But, what if you took a step back, took a deep breath, and thought to yourself, relax. Don’t jump to conclusions. Sometimes it sounds insulting and accusatory. Most often, it’s not really about you. It’s usually about an internal struggle of the other person. So relax, take a step back, take a deep breath and think. Forgive the situation. Often, it’s really not about you as much as it is about other conflicts. If it is about you, what is the conflict within you? Forgive and let go. Don’t create stories. Stick with the facts and don’t judge. Forgive and let go and give yourself an opportunity to grow.
For every drop, there is a lift on this roller coaster of life. No matter what the situation, step back, take a deep breath and relax. Find the point in the ride you enjoy and concentrate on that. Learn to enjoy the ride and let the bumps along the way just go by the wayside. Take your seat, open your eyes and enjoy the ride.
And if you find you need a little help, guidance or support on this roller coaster of life, call 516-236-3290. My office is located in Lynbrook, New York but I have phone sessions as well as skype sessions so you do not need to be local.
I have been working on this site for over 4 years. I have much to offer and am willing to put my all into this. I am a therapist with life strategies that make sense. I’m not into analysis, long term therapeutic interventions, or figuring out why we do what we do. I want to help people figure out what to do to get the results they want out of life.
I put on the news to find out that we have reached the point where six year olds are murdered! How does that make sense? Twenty, six year olds, were murdered! The killer was troubled. Really? And no one thought it could get this bad? No one saw the signs? We seem to be going through life, blind, as bystanders. Everyone sees, but no one does anything. And now, twenty, six year olds were murdered. No one knew? No one saw there was a serious problem?
Some parents say, no,not my child. I reach out to say, your child is showing signs that concern me. I tell parents, their children are in pain to get the response, ” not my child.”
We are responsible for what we do in life. We are responsible to respond to the signs. We are responsible to evaluate our pain and to move forward in life. We are responsible to ask for help when we don’t have the answers. We are responsible for our children. We are responsible to get the help they need.
Don’t wait for tragedy. Get the help you need now. Life is a struggle and it is not easy to get through the challenges. ASK for help. You don’t have all the answers. No one has all the answers. Just don’t go it alone. Get the help you need along the way. Contact Madelynan Doyle at mdoyle@yourexcellence within.org . Or call 516-236-3290 for an office visit in Lynbrook, New York. But if you are not local, phone sessions and skype sessions are available.
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This week has been one of the longest weeks of my life and that is because one of the young men, thirteen years old, that I work with, DIED !!!! When this happens, lots of questions surface; ” What is life all about? Why did this happen to him? How could he die at thirteen? How does this make sense?” On and on….. This truly is a heartbreak. This young man was a well adjusted, smart, kind, sweet young man who never got involved in the early teenage “drama”. He was respectful, caring, intelligent and happy. He was also an ONLY child. How devestating is that? How devesating is the whole thing.
When a young person dies, we all feel like something is wrong in the universe. It’s like life has been turned upside down. It is not the natural progression. A parent should never bury his or her child. Other children, their peers, try desperately to find an answer for why this could happen. In this case, there was a dirt bike accident. Sal, this lovely young man, loved going to the country and riding his dirt bike. He was a child who always used his helmet and followed the safety laws, however this time, it was extremely hot, and he went without his helmet. His peers want to think that it’s because he didn’t wear his helmet that he is dead. They want something to blame so they can understand the tragedy. The fact is that whether or not he had worn his helmet, he would not have survived this accident. His bike hit a rock that sent his bike into a tree. His neck was broken on impact. Helmet or otherwise, he would not have survived. Sal had made this trip hundreds of times before this final ride. He simply hit this rock in such a way that the rest lined up and on impact, his life was over. No one could have set this up. It seems so clearly that this was fate. So sad, so tragic. How do we understand?
I’ve been speaking with his classmates and teachers all week. Each person grieves according to his or her own style. One young man, one of his closest friends, couldn’t eat for several days. Another young girl, who considers herself his best friend, put on a stoic look, listened to what everyone had to say, held all feelings in and waited to go to the bathroom, alone, to sob uncontrollably. She prefers to pretend he is still alive. She doesn’t want any reminders of his death so she can pretend he will walk in the door any minute. Another young girl is upset that we can’t sign and paint the handball court where Sal would play every day and is desperately trying to find a way to leave a permanent, artistic display to remind all children, now and in the future, of Sal. She is desperate to not have him ever forgotten. Some cry. Some make jokes. Some just talk about their memories. Others remain quiet displaying their sadness in their facial expressions. How do we make sense of such a tragedy?
These tragedies force us to look at our beliefs. Who had this plan to take this beautiful, bright, wonderful young man? It was certainly no plan of anyone on earth. It has to be the plan of a power greater than all of us. In a moment of time, his life was ended. How does this make sense? How can God let this happen? Is there a God at all? Our minds go in the direction of doubt, anger, confusion, and pain. What is life all about?
I believe that we are put on this earth to learn life lessons. We are born, and eventually we all die. What we do in between those events is what counts. How we learn our lessons and how we apply those lessons determines how our life will go. Sal was sweet, kind, loving and happy. He always lived by the golden rule: do unto others as you want done unto you. He treated everyone with respect and caring. He never got into drama and was never unkind. He lived a life of loving. At thirteen, he knew that happiness came out of goodness and love. Many people live many years and don’t learn that the secret of a good and happy life. They don’t learn that the secret of life is all about love. Sal fulfilled his life’s purpose in thirteen years!
I truly believe that life is all about learning to love one another. I believe everything happens for reason, usually a reason to teach us a valuable life lesson. This young man lived a life of love. He judged no one. He was always happy. He was always caring and loving. He understood what life is all about and lived by love. At thirteen he knew what many don’t get until they are old and grey. He knew how to forgive others and love them no matter how difficult they could be. He loved and everyone loved him back. We all need to learn to love, to forgive those we think have wronged us, and open our hearts to love. That is what I think life is all about and in Sal’s short, thirteen years, he understood what life is all about and lived by it. It was an honor to have my life touched by Sal and I hope we can all learn by his example. Live a life of love. We miss you Sal.
The sound of the birds chirping. Everything gets green. The flowers start budding and there is beautiful color everywhere. You take off the layers of clothing and look forward to going out. You don’t mind doing things because the heavy burden of winter gear is all over with and put out of sight. Everything is better. Everything feels better. Everything looks better. You are better.
Time to spring clean. You clean the windows and open them throughout the house so the air begins to flow and you actually feel your connection to the universe. You hear the birds singing, watch the squirrels chasing one another, and hear the people as they walk by with their dogs. You want to freshen up the house, take out the summer clothes and catch some of the rays of the sun while you feel this renewal within you and all around you. You have energy again. You walk with a bounce. You clean with the music playing and you find that you are looking forward. You are looking forward to the warm weather and the season of summer and of being outside.
While you are cleaning everything outside: the house, the walls, the windows, the furniture, the lawn, the garden, what about the internal cleaning? How do you clean up your spirit? How do you clean up your mindset? How do you clean up your attitude? You already feel your winter blues lifting. The weather alone makes you happier and hopeful. Now is the time to clean up whatever thought patterns that have been bringing you down or standing in your way of moving forward. Allow yourself to grow with the garden.
Contact Madelynan Doyle at 516-236-3290 for some Spring Time, Personal Growth for some personal development and spring cleaning. Office sessions are available in Lynbrook, New York but if you are not local, ask for a phone session or skype session.