"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts.
This is the secret of success."
Swami Sivananda

Parenting

What Questions Are You Asking? Are You Moving Forward?

depressed 9How many people look for the answers on line and expect to learn from them, grow  from them and apply them to their lives with only the investment of reading on line?  I make lots of suggestions on strategies to help get through life challenges.  Have you read them?  Have you followed them. Have you done the work to make some of the strategies new habits? Has any change taken place?

The greater question is, how badly do you want things to change in your life.  Are  you struggling with a relationship, or relationships in general?  Are you struggling with your child and having trouble with parenting issues?  Are you feeling badly about yourself and just feeling low self esteem?  Are you unhappy with work and feeling “stuck” where you are and not knowing which way to go to get unstuck?  Are you depressed?  Do you always see the negative and struggle to find the positive in life.

appreciationAre you happy with your life?  If you are not, what exactly has to change in order to make you happy with your life? Have you asked yourself that question?  What exactly needs to change in order for you to feel happy?  That is the important question to answer.  Once you can answer that question, you can begin to make changes.  You can begin to create the life you want.

However, sometimes you need help in asking those hard questions.  Obviously, only you can find your own answers, but learning to ask the right questions can be a process and that process may be best learned with guidance.  Call or email at 516 236 3290 or mdoyle@yourexcellencewithin.org in order to set up an appointment via phone, skype or office visit.  It’s not always as easy as reading the answers on line.  Sometimes, we need some professional assistance.  Call or email today.  Don’t stay “stuck” where you are; learn how to move on and move forward.

 

 

 

If You Would Like More From Madelynan Doyle, Check Out Her E-Books!!!

Be sure to check out my E-Books through Amazon.com.

 

Strategies to Beat Depression. Depression, Get Rid Of It Now. Don’t Let Depression Stop You.

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How To Find Your Self Through Personal Values: Gain Self Satisfaction and Life Satisfaction: Journey To Your Excellence Within: Limited Discount Edition

 

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Believe In Them: They Are Our Future!!!!

 

I spend a lot of time working with young people.  In understanding the young person, I have a lot of interaction with the adults that are in their lives.  I hear complaints like:  she or he is just lazy; she or he has no motivation; she or he  just doesn’t care; she or he has no respect.  When I speak to the young person the complaints sound more like: she or he never listens to me; you have to earn respect to get respect; school is drag, when am I going to use any of this stuff in life; why should I care?  The thing that bothers me most however, is the young person today doesn’t know how to dream.

When I ask what they like to do, most of the time they state, I just like to chill with my friends.  What does chilling mean?  It can mean just hanging with friends. It can mean sitting around playing video games.  It can be hanging at the park or walking the neighborhood.  It never looks very productive but it’s the time when they are most happy.  No demands from the adults who call them lazy, no expectations from the adults thinking they are not motivated, no judgments from adults, and being part of a group of friends.  The adult world doesn’t like the way chilling looks.  There is always a large group. They can be loud, cursing, and carrying on in a way the adults don’t think is appropriate.  But the fact is, that most of the time, they mean no harm; they really are just “chilling”, letting off steam and experiencing that feeling of belonging in a world that is very confusing to them.

What worries me more about young people today, is when you ask them what they hope to have happen in their lives, what they hope for the future, they have no idea. They don’t have any dreams.  They don’t know how to dream.  What have we done as a society that has taken away the child’s ability to dream, to look to the future and to fantasize about what a great life they will have?  How did we take away the young person’s right to look to a bright future and how do we get that back?

It’s very difficult for a person to be motivated when you don’t see the effort will lead somewhere.  If you don’t have a dream, you may not have a direction or a goal. You do a lot of floundering without direction and goals.  If you believe that no one believes in you, it becomes difficult to believe in yourself.

When you’ve grown up watching people jumping out of buildings because the building had been bombed in the name of religion, you wonder what life is about and what to have faith in:   you wonder who will have a future.  When your siblings and their friends go through college only to graduate and find there are no jobs, you wonder why bother.  When your parents work long hours to provide for you and your home is destroyed in a hurricane, you wonder, what the heck is going on?  When politicians run campaigns that degrade their opponents, you wonder if you should even bother to register to vote.  It goes on and on.  Watch the news.  Read the news papers.  Listen to the messages they are getting about life.

We wonder why young people are not motivated or seem not to care.  Look at what has gone on throughout their formative years. How have we taught them to dream?  What are the values we have raised them with?  What messages are they getting from the media, their families, schools and their institutions of faith?  How have we as a society grown to become dream stealers and nay sayers?  How can we turn it around?  How do we help young people believe in themselves and believe in their future?

Let’s not judge young people and put them down.  Let’s build them up.  Let’s give them values.  Let’s teach them that hard work does pay off.  Let’s teach them to rely on themselves and to develop their interests and talents.  Praise them.  Teach them to develop their strengths and talents.   Encourage them to have faith in themselves and their ability to develop into  successful adults and encourage them to be the creators of their own destiny. Help them create a plan, set some goals, and demand of life success and well being. Believe in them; they are our future.

Who Is Responsible?…

I have been working on this site for over 4 years.  I have much to offer and am willing to put my all into this.  I am a therapist with life strategies that make sense.  I’m not into analysis, long term therapeutic interventions, or figuring out why we do what we do.  I want to help people figure out what to do to get the results they want out of life.

I put on the news to find out that we have reached the point where six year olds are murdered!  How does that make sense?   Twenty, six year olds, were murdered!  The killer was troubled.  Really?  And no one thought it could get this bad?  No one saw the signs?   We seem to be going through life, blind,  as bystanders.  Everyone sees, but no one does anything.  And now, twenty,  six year olds were murdered.  No one knew?  No one saw there was a serious problem?

Some parents say, no,not my child.  I reach out to say, your child is showing signs that concern me.  I  tell parents, their children are in pain to get the response, ” not my child.”

We are responsible for what we do in life.  We are responsible to respond to the signs.  We are responsible to evaluate our pain and to move forward in life.  We are responsible to ask for help when we don’t have the answers.  We are responsible for our children. We are responsible to get the help they need.

Don’t wait for tragedy.  Get the help you need now.  Life is a struggle and it is not easy to get through the challenges.  ASK for help.  You don’t have all the answers.   No one has all the answers.  Just don’t go it alone.  Get the help you need along the way.  Contact Madelynan Doyle at mdoyle@yourexcellence within.org.