"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts.
This is the secret of success."
Swami Sivananda

Positive Outlook

If You Would Like More From Madelynan Doyle, Check Out Her E-Books!!!

Be sure to check out my E-Books through Amazon.com.

 

Strategies to Beat Depression. Depression, Get Rid Of It Now. Don’t Let Depression Stop You.

depression_3                                                                                                                                            click here

 

And if you want more on values, beliefs and life philosophies, be sure to read this.

 

How To Find Your Self Through Personal Values: Gain Self Satisfaction and Life Satisfaction: Journey To Your Excellence Within: Limited Discount Edition

 

journeyG

   click here

Get your own kindle copy to keep forever.

 

Don’t Let Life Stress You Out.

Life is short and it is clear that we are going through a difficult time in history.   Unemployment is rampart and underemployment equally as bad.  People with degrees are taking low income positions just to have a job while others are interning without pay just to get experience in hope of eventually getting a paying job. Politicians are closing down government, businesses are struggling to stay afloat the medical professions are trying to figure out how to help people get well in a system that has lots of glitches.  Everyone you speak with has a list of complaints.  Ask anyone in almost any profession if they are happy at work and each will tell you things are changing and they are no longer enjoying their careers as they once had.

So, what do you do during these stressful times?  How do you continue to find some joy?  It’s important to find ways to relax, de-stress, and enjoy the little things in life.  Stop, take a moment to visualize a beautiful moment or a beautiful scene.  Relive a wonderful event in your mind. Enjoy it again. Enjoy a smile. treat someone with kindness, take a moment to feel gratitude for the riches you have.  Someone loves you.  Someone is kind to you.  Someone relies on you and trusts you.   These are all riches and gifts in life. Think of all of the riches, large and small.

Much of what life offers involves challenge.  These challenges can bring us down, depress us, devastate us at times.  This type of stress can lead to misery and unhappiness.  There is so much we confront in life that is beyond our control.  The only control you have is control of you and how you react to the world around you. Don’t let the world determine your well being. You determine your well being.

If you need professional help contact Madelynan Doyle, PHD at mdoyle@yourexcellencewithin.org. to arrange for a session.   In the world of technology, help can be a click of mouse away.

Hello Again: It Has Been A While…….

Hello.  It’s me again:  Madelynan Doyle, Phd, counselor, therapist, blogger, mother, friend……..  I’ve not posted in quite some time.  I was beginning to think that my site was a waste of my time and that I was writing for myself without any followers.  I am happy to say that I have an increase in viewing as you can see from the comments and I want to take the time to thank all of you that have read and then taken the time to make such positive comments.  Your comments have motivated me to get back into writing but before I get back into the rhythm of writing on a regular basis , I would like to make my credentials and services perfectly clear.

First of all, I am no website guru.  In fact, technology often frustrates me.  Many of you have asked me where I got my design.  I paid for it through a company who has since gone out of business and although my site looks like a Word Press site, the design was privately set up.  For those newbies who have been asking for suggestions about how to set up a site, my recommendation is to go to Word Press.  They are the best and free.  There is no need for the expense of a privately designed site until your site is  making you money.  For those who have asked about hosting, I would recommend Hostgator.  Hostgator is reasonable and offers tons of technical support and learning tools.  I am technically challenged and rely on their technical support through their chats.  The people in live chat are wonderful. And, for those interested in writing, just write.  Write everyday about anything.    And save everything because out of your writing you will find topics, themes, and work you can expand on.

My real skill and expertise comes in the field of psychology.  I am a licensed counselor and mental health therapist with a doctorate in clinical hypnotherapy.  Although I do not work in clinical psychopathology which requires  medical, psychiatric diagnosis and most often psycho-pharmacology, I do work with everyday, psychological distress that comes along with the human experience.  The process of living includes challenge each and everyday and we are all entitled to experience joy. My goal in therapy and in my website is to show people their inner strength and their ability to find joy even through the toughest life challenges.  So, don’t go it alone.  It always feels better to reach out to somebody.   I offer teleseminars which are really therapeutic sessions over the phone.  If you are not local to my office in Lynbrook, I can arrange a telephone session for individuals or group sessions over the phone.  I teach you to be in charge of your own personal growth and to explore life’s pleasures even in the worst of times.

So don’t go through life’s challenges alone when you don’t have to.  Reach out for help.   Feel free to contact me through my email at:  mdoyle@yourexcellencewithin.org.  Leave a number where I can reach you and let’s see if together we can’t find your joy…..

The Ride Called Life: Enjoy!

Life offers challenges and often we may feel we are on a roller coaster.  Some days we feel great and we are offered, positive, wonderful experiences and other days we experience events that bring us sadness and strife.  Each day brings us an experience to learn from and grow from: yes, even those difficult days.

I like to believe we are placed on earth to school ourselves for the next dimension:  that experience of everlasting, eternal bliss.  However, there seems to be many  lessons we have to learn before we get there.  Each time we think we are reaching a state of happiness, something will come up to challenge that state: illness, death, crime, divorce, pain and so much more of what life has to offer.  Hence the roller coaster of life.  Stuff happens.  Life happens.  Pain happens.  So, what’s it all about?  I think it’s about forgiveness. I think that stuff offers us opportunity to forgive.

It’s so easy to get angry.  It’s so easy to blame.  It’s so easy to feel hurt.  It’s so easy to think things are happening to you by others.You are driving, heading toward work and someone cuts you off.  You get ticked off and curse or engage in “sign language” you are not proud of.  You feel so angry and blame the driver for being willfully obnoxious.  Meanwhile, the driver was also driving to work.  The driver was actively engaged in thoughts about work.  The driver simply was not thinking about his or her driving and made a mistake.  Was he really guilty of willfully cutting you off.  The driver was literally unconscious.  The intent was not to cut you off; the intent was simply to get to work and resolve whatever issue was causing the driver to not concentrate on driving. But you become angry and upset and the whole experience can set the tone for your day.  Why ruin your day. Forgive the mistake and continue with your day.I think we often convict others of crimes they really had no intention of committing.

How many times do you get upset with your boss, or your boss gets upset with you or a fellow worker and you don’t understand how the boss can possibly be blaming you or your coworker for something done or not done?  You get together with colleagues and create a whole scenario about the situation, with everyone contributing a factor.  Ah, but is the factor a fact or have you all just created a story?

It easy and quick to get angry.  But, what if you took a step back, took a deep breath, and thought to yourself, relax.  Don’t jump to conclusions.   Sometimes it sounds insulting and accusatory.  Most often, it’s not really about you.  It’s usually about an internal struggle of the other person. So relax, take a step back, take a deep breath and think.  Forgive the situation.  Often, it’s really not about you as much as it is about other conflicts.  If it is about you, what is the conflict within you?  Forgive and let go.  Don’t create stories.  Stick with the facts and don’t judge.  Forgive and let go and give yourself an opportunity to grow.

For every drop, there is a lift on this roller coaster of life.  No matter what the situation, step back, take a deep breath and relax.  Find the point in the ride you enjoy and concentrate on that.  Learn to enjoy the ride and let the bumps along the way just go by the wayside.  Take your seat, open your eyes and enjoy the ride.

Who Is Responsible?…

I have been working on this site for over 4 years.  I have much to offer and am willing to put my all into this.  I am a therapist with life strategies that make sense.  I’m not into analysis, long term therapeutic interventions, or figuring out why we do what we do.  I want to help people figure out what to do to get the results they want out of life.

I put on the news to find out that we have reached the point where six year olds are murdered!  How does that make sense?   Twenty, six year olds, were murdered!  The killer was troubled.  Really?  And no one thought it could get this bad?  No one saw the signs?   We seem to be going through life, blind,  as bystanders.  Everyone sees, but no one does anything.  And now, twenty,  six year olds were murdered.  No one knew?  No one saw there was a serious problem?

Some parents say, no,not my child.  I reach out to say, your child is showing signs that concern me.  I  tell parents, their children are in pain to get the response, ” not my child.”

We are responsible for what we do in life.  We are responsible to respond to the signs.  We are responsible to evaluate our pain and to move forward in life.  We are responsible to ask for help when we don’t have the answers.  We are responsible for our children. We are responsible to get the help they need.

Don’t wait for tragedy.  Get the help you need now.  Life is a struggle and it is not easy to get through the challenges.  ASK for help.  You don’t have all the answers.   No one has all the answers.  Just don’t go it alone.  Get the help you need along the way.  Contact Madelynan Doyle at mdoyle@yourexcellence within.org.

 

Expect To Be Amazed By Life And You Will!

Do you ever  get amazed by life?  Today is an absolutely exquisite day in New York.  It’s probably in the seventies with a nice breeze, not really cool but also not warm like you get in the spring and summer.  A lot of the leaves have turned colors and many of them are falling to the ground.  You still see a lot of green but there are oranges, browns and reds along with yellows and various shaes of green.  It has a fall look but almost a spring feel.   The birds are singing and the squirrels playing.   It’s one of those days when it’s just great to be alive!  It’s also one of those days when you are aware there is a power greater than yourself.  You feel the change in the universe.  It may be one of the last really comfortably warm, gorgeous days left before we see the colder air come in, the trees become bare, and watch the earth appear to go dormant through the winter season. It’s a day calling you outside saying, “Come and enjoy.  Soon it will change and you will be inside escaping the cold.”

I love living in the northeast and enjoying the change of seasons.  It makes me aware that change always comes.  Change occurs  in nature; it occurs in relationships; it occurs in careers; it occurs throughout every aspect of life.  I believe that change is good.  Change helps us to know we are alive and that no matter what is going on in your life, change will come once again.  It always does.  And because of this, there is always hope for the better. There is always the expectation for a brighter day.

No matter how happy, rich, intelligent, creative, or whatever, we always reach for more and reach for the better.  We know that change comes and from that, we always want more, we always want better.  We always want to move forward.  Once we have achieved a goal, we automatically set another.  This is helpful to think about when you are in a slump and feel you are stuck.  The reality is, you are never stuck.  Change always occurs.  You may think you are stuck, but that thought is an illusion.  No matter what, change is always happening.  Expect good things to come.

We are vibrational beings.  We are energy, just like the trees.  They may be loosing their leaves preparing for winter.  And in the winter when they are looking barron, they are simply storing their energy to bloom once again in the spring.  We may feel stuck, but perhaps we too are storing our energy so that we too can bloom when the time is right.  We change like nature.  Sometimes our energy ebbs and then flows.  Be patient with whatever state you may feel you are in and have faith that the state will change.  Change always comes.  There is a rhythm to life.  Enjoy and appreciate the rhythm.  Enjoy and appreciate each day.  Enjoy and appreciate you.  Expect the best from life and then, demand it!  And most of all, enjoy it!

What Is Life All About????

This week has been one of the longest weeks of my life and that is because one of the young men, thirteen years old, that I work with,  DIED !!!!  When this happens, lots of questions surface; ” What is life all about?  Why did this happen to him? How could he die at thirteen? How does this make sense?” On and on…..  This truly is a heartbreak.  This young man was a well adjusted, smart, kind, sweet young man who never got involved in the early teenage “drama”.  He was respectful, caring, intelligent and happy.  He was also an ONLY child.  How devestating is that?  How devesating is the whole thing.

When a young person dies, we all feel like something is wrong in the universe.  It’s like life has been turned upside down.  It is not the natural progression.  A parent should never bury his or her child.  Other children, their peers, try desperately to find an answer for why this could happen.   In this case, there was a dirt bike accident.  Sal, this lovely young man, loved going to the country and riding his dirt bike.  He was a child who always used his helmet and followed the safety laws, however this time, it was extremely hot,  and he went without his helmet.  His peers want to think that it’s because he didn’t wear his helmet that he is dead.  They want something to blame so they can understand the tragedy.  The fact is that whether or not he had worn his helmet, he would not have survived this accident.  His bike hit  a rock that sent his bike into a tree.  His neck was broken on impact.  Helmet or otherwise, he would not have survived.  Sal had made this trip hundreds of times before this final ride.  He simply hit this rock in such a way that the rest lined up and on impact, his life was over.  No one could have set this up.  It seems so clearly that this was fate.  So sad, so tragic.  How do we understand?

I’ve been speaking with his classmates and teachers all week.  Each person grieves according to his or her own style.  One young man, one of his closest friends, couldn’t eat for several days.  Another young girl, who considers herself his best friend, put on a stoic look, listened to what everyone had to say, held all feelings in and waited to go to the bathroom, alone, to sob uncontrollably.  She prefers to pretend he is still alive.  She doesn’t want any reminders of his death so she can pretend he will walk in the door any minute.  Another young girl is upset that we can’t sign and paint the handball court where Sal would play every day and is desperately trying to find a way to leave a permanent, artistic display to remind all children, now and in the future, of Sal.  She is desperate to not have him ever forgotten.  Some cry.  Some make jokes.  Some just talk about their memories.  Others remain quiet displaying their sadness in their facial expressions.  How do we make sense of such a tragedy?

These tragedies force us to look at our beliefs.  Who had this plan to take this beautiful, bright, wonderful young man?  It was certainly no plan of anyone on earth.  It has to be the plan of a power greater than all of us.  In a moment of time, his life was ended.  How does this make sense?  How can God let this happen?  Is there a God at all?  Our minds go in the direction of doubt, anger, confusion,  and pain.   What is life all about?

I believe that we are put on this earth to learn life lessons.  We are born, and eventually we all die.  What we do in between those events is what counts.  How we learn our lessons and how we apply those lessons determines how our life will go.  Sal was sweet, kind, loving and happy.  He always lived by the golden rule: do unto others as you want done unto you.  He treated everyone with respect and caring.  He never got into drama and was never unkind.  He lived a life of loving.  At thirteen, he knew that happiness came out of goodness and love. Many people live many years and don’t learn that the secret of a good and happy life.  They don’t learn that the secret of life is all about love. Sal fulfilled his life’s purpose in thirteen years!

I truly believe that life is all about learning to love one another.  I believe everything happens for reason, usually a reason to teach us a valuable life lesson.  This young man lived a life of love.  He judged no one.  He was always happy.  He was always caring and loving.  He understood what life is all about and lived by love.  At thirteen he knew what many don’t get until they are old and grey.  He knew how to forgive others and love them no matter how difficult they could be.  He loved and everyone loved him back.  We all need to learn to love, to forgive those we think have wronged us, and open our hearts to love.  That is what I think life is all about and in Sal’s short, thirteen years, he understood what life is all about and lived by it.  It was an honor to have my life touched by Sal and I hope we can all learn by his example.  Live a life of love.  We miss you Sal.