"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts.
This is the secret of success."
Swami Sivananda

Self Esteem

What Questions Are You Asking?

depressed 9How many people look for the answers on line and expect to learn from them, grow  from them and apply them to their lives with only the investment of reading on line?  I make lots of suggestions on strategies to help get through life challenges.  Have you read them?  Followed them?  Or done the work to make some of the strategies new habits? Seriously, has any change taken place?

Are You Moving Forward?

Honestly, the greater question is, how badly do you want things to change in your life.  Are  you struggling with a relationship, or relationships in general?  Perhaps you are struggling with your child and having trouble with parenting issues?  Maybe you are feeling badly about yourself and just feeling low self esteem? Likewise, are you unhappy with work and feeling “stuck” where you are and not knowing which way to go to get unstuck?  Unfortunately, you could be depressed?  Likewise, do you always see the negative and struggle to find the positive in life?  Unfortunately, you are always feeling grey, dark and dismayed.

appreciationConsequently,  you are unhappy with your life?  What exactly has to change in order to make you happy with your life, in order for you to feel happy?  This is  an important question to answer.  Moreover, once you can answer this question, you can begin to make changes.  Then, you can begin to create the life you want.

Don’t Continue to Feel Bad; Get Help.

However, sometimes you need help in asking those hard questions. Obviously, only you can find your own answers, but learning to ask the right questions can be a process and that process may be best learned with guidance.  Call Madelynan Doyle, LMHC, Ph.D. at 516 236 3290 or email : mdoyle@yourexcellencewithin.org in order to set up an appointment via phone, skype or office visit.  It’s not always as easy as reading the answers on line.  Sometimes, we need some professional assistance.  Call or email today.  Don’t stay “stuck” where you are; learn how to move on and move forward.

It’s All About Choices.

While working with a lovely young lady I realized that she hates herself.  She has not found a place to belong in this world.    In her mid-twenties, she has a career goal; however, that is her only goal.  She finds herself with no friends and solely dependent on her family: loving them yet at the same time, hating them because of this dependency.

She is stuck in this unhappy place in her own head. As a victim, believing the stories she has told herself, keeping her trapped and unhappy.Many of these stories have been reinforced by the people she most loves.  Her fear of changing these beliefs is more frightening than remaining trapped, stuck and very unhappy.  Can you relate?

It’s About The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Many people contribute to the development of self image: parents, siblings, friends, relatives, teachers, religious leaders and everyone else that comes into your life.  If not careful, the world could develop your self-image rather than you creating you.

I remember having a math teacher tell my mother that “I just didn’t have a math mind.  I was a C math student.”  Now, if I were a different type, I could have accepted that as a part of me and then given myself permission to just be a C math student.  Instead, I was so angry she labeled me that I had to prove her wrong and worked like a dog to be an A math student.

 However, in my early years as a student, a teacher told my mother “An Artist, she is not.”   I was too young to get angry at an adult.  I accepted this as a fact, and never developed skills as an artist.  Be careful of what messages we give others. Also realize, that it is up to you to accept or reject these so-called facts about who you are.  If you accept what others say about you as truths, then you let others determine who you are and what you will become.  Or, work really hard and create your own self-image.

What do we choose to believe?

Who do you want to be an expert on you?  You, or someone or everyone out there thinking they know who you are?  When you give others the power, you will never be happy with you.  When you take responsibility for who you are, you can begin to feel better about you.  Don’t give up the power. That’s when you feel trapped, stuck and very unhappy.

Your power is within you.  Find your excellence within.  If you need some help, guidance or simple support in creating you, give me a call at 516-236-3290.  You don’t have to be in the area.  I have phone sessions, skype sessions and of course office sessions.  If you think I can help, give me a call.

If You Would Like More From Madelynan Doyle, Check Out Her E-Books!!!

Be sure to check out my E-Books through Amazon.com.

 

Strategies to Beat Depression. Depression, Get Rid Of It Now. Don’t Let Depression Stop You.

depression_3                                                                                                                                            click here

 

And if you want more on values, beliefs and life philosophies, be sure to read this.

 

How To Find Your Self Through Personal Values: Gain Self Satisfaction and Life Satisfaction: Journey To Your Excellence Within: Limited Discount Edition

 

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Get your own kindle copy to keep forever.

 

Who Is Responsible?…

I have been working on this site for many years.  I have much to offer and am willing to put my all into this.  I am a therapist with life strategies that make sense.  I’m not into analysis, long term therapeutic interventions, or figuring out why we do what we do.  I want to help people figure out what to do to get the results they want out of life.

We have reached the point where six year olds are murdered! Schools are not safe therefore our children are not safe. How does that make sense?   Twenty, six year olds, were murdered!  The killer was troubled.  Really?  And no one thought it could get this bad?  No one saw the signs?   We seem to be going through life, blind,  as bystanders.  Everyone sees, but no one does anything.  And now, twenty,  six year olds were murdered.  No one knew?  No one saw there was a serious problem? I am of course referring to the tragedy of Sandy Hook.

Some parents say, no,not my child.  I reach out to say, your child is showing signs that concern me.  I  tell parents, their children are in pain to get the response, ” not my child.”

I was somewhat guilty of the same response.  When my son first showing signs of drug use, abuse and later addiction, I did not see the signs.  Honestly, I didn’t know the signs.  I knew something was wrong but did not know what.  After all, he was an adolescent going through changes and stages that were normal for his age.  I knew he was having difficulty but never thought it was drugs.  I knew he was struggling but I thought it was with growing up.  So what did we do, we brought him for therapy.  You may not know what your children are going through, but you do know when something is wrong.

We are responsible for what we do in life.  We are responsible to respond to the signs.  We are responsible to evaluate our pain and to move forward in life.  We are responsible to ask for help when we don’t have the answers.  We are responsible for our children. We are responsible to get the help they need.

Don’t wait for tragedy.  Get the help you need now.  Life is a struggle and it is not easy to get through the challenges.  ASK for help.  You don’t have all the answers.   No one has all the answers.  Just don’t go it alone.  Get the help you need along the way.  Contact Madelynan Doyle at mdoyle@yourexcellence within.org .  Or call 516-236-3290 for an office visit in Lynbrook, New York.  But if you are not local,  phone sessions and skype sessions are available.

Don’t You Just Love The Spring? Time For Spring Cleaning!

The sound of the birds chirping.  Everything gets green.  The flowers start budding and there is beautiful color everywhere.  You take off the layers of clothing and look forward to going out.  You don’t mind doing things because the heavy burden of winter gear is all over with and put out of sight.  Everything is better. Everything feels better.  Everything looks better.  You are better.

Time to spring clean.  You clean the windows and open them throughout the house so the air begins to flow and you actually feel your connection to the universe.  You hear the birds singing, watch the squirrels chasing one another, and hear the people as they walk by with their dogs.  You want to freshen up the house, take out the summer clothes and catch some of the rays of the sun while you feel this renewal within you and all around you.  You have energy again.  You walk with a bounce.  You clean with the music playing and you find that you are looking forward.  You are looking forward to the warm weather and the season of summer and of being outside.

While you are cleaning everything outside: the house, the walls, the windows, the furniture, the lawn, the garden, what about the internal cleaning?  How do you clean up your spirit?  How do you clean up your mindset?  How do you clean up your attitude?  You already feel your winter blues lifting.  The weather alone makes you happier and hopeful.  Now is the time to clean up whatever thought patterns that have been bringing you down or standing in your way of moving forward.  Allow yourself to grow with the garden.

Contact Madelynan Doyle at 516-236-3290 for some Spring Time, Personal Growth for some personal development and spring cleaning.  Office sessions are available in Lynbrook, New York but if you are not local, ask for a phone session or skype session.