"Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts.
This is the secret of success."
Swami Sivananda
This is the secret of success."
Swami Sivananda
Holy Season in the midst of Covid 19!
A Few Comments About Holy Season
So many people of so many faiths, right in the middle of Covid 19 are attempting to acknowledge Holy Season . A time of great reflection in the spiritual sense during a normal Holy Season but currently, reflection is so much more intense. All of humanity is going through this pandemic together. Reflecting on our faiths, our values, our morality is an everyday process. Asking ourselves questions like, “Who do we want to authentically be during our time here on earth?” Never have we been more connected to one another globally. Have we ever felt more vulnerable as a species.?Covid 19 , for many of us, has been a wake up call. The Corona virus has helped us clearly see what is important to us. What we thought was important before the virus, may be thought to be unimportant, superficial and meaningless in the world of Covid 19 and the days to follow. So how will Covid 19 change you?
Let us Grow and Change
We can look at the Pandemic as an opportunity to change ourselves for the better. Become better neighbors to those living in our own communities. We can become better neighbors to those living all over the globe. Try to help. Be more considerate. Reach out in new ways to make our planet a safer place in which to live. Make humanity and societies more aware and considerate of each other. Look closer at how we are taking care of our planet. Begin to care more. Give more. Do more to make our world a better and safer place.
See each other as a true brotherhood or family. We are all in this together. All over the world, every color, every faith, every sex, every age and possibly every species including all living things are connected! People as well as inhabitants of this great earth are connected. Respect all and take better care.
Let us Pray
During this Holy Season, let’s ask our great Lord to help us learn, live and grow from this catastrophic pandemic. Help us to trust in His wisdom. Trust that good will come out of all this fear, loss and pain. When we do get through this pandemic, help us to love one another and to reach out to the many who will be in need. And let us not forget to be grateful to all the good Lord has given us in order to get through this painful and frightening time.
Gratitude Is The Attitude….
Learn to Love Life……..
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Don’t Let Life Stress You Out.
Life is Short
Life is short and it is clear that we are going through a difficult time in history. Unemployment is rampart and underemployment equally as bad. People with degrees are accepting low income positions to have a job while others are interning without pay to get experience in hope of eventually getting a paying job. Politicians are closing down government while businesses are struggling to stay afloat. The medical professions are trying to figure out how to help people get well in a system that has lots of glitches and road blocks. At the same time, everyone you speak with has a list of complaints. Ask anyone in almost any profession if they are happy at work and each will tell you things are changing and they are no longer enjoying their careers as they once had.
Find the Riches
So, what do you do during these stressful times? How do you continue to find some joy? Obviously it’s important to find ways to relax, de-stress, and enjoy the little things in life. Moreover, stop and take a moment to visualize a beautiful moment or a beautiful scene. Specifically relive a wonderful event in your mind and enjoy it again. In addition, appreciate a smile or perhaps treat someone with kindness. Simply take a moment to feel gratitude for the riches you have because someone loves you. Another person is kind to you. Your friends rely on you and trust you. These are all riches and gifts in life. Think of all of the riches, large and small and take the time to appreciate.
Much of what life offers involves challenge. Unfortunately, these challenges can bring us down, depress us, devastate us at times. This type of stress can lead to misery and unhappiness. There is so much we confront in life that is beyond our control. However, the only control you have is control of you and how you react to the world around you. Don’t let the world determine your well being. You determine your well being.
If you need professional help contact Madelynan Doyle, PHD at mdoyle@yourexcellencewithin.org. to arrange for a session. In the world of technology, help can be a click of mouse away. She is available for office visits, phone sessions and skyped sessions. Call for an appointment: 516-236-3290.
The Ride Called Life: Enjoy!
Life offers challenges and often we may feel we are on a roller coaster. Some days we feel great and we are offered, positive, wonderful experiences and other days we experience events that bring us sadness and strife. Each day brings us an experience to learn from and grow from: yes, even those difficult days.
I like to believe we are placed on earth to school ourselves for the next dimension: that experience of everlasting, eternal bliss. However, there seems to be many lessons we have to learn before we get there. Each time we think we are reaching a state of happiness, something will come up to challenge that state: illness, death, crime, divorce, pain and so much more of what life has to offer. Hence the roller coaster of life. Stuff happens. Life happens. Pain happens. So, what’s it all about? I think it’s about forgiveness. I think that stuff offers us opportunity to forgive.
It’s so easy to get angry. It’s so easy to blame. It’s so easy to feel hurt. It’s so easy to think things are happening to you by others.You are driving, heading toward work and someone cuts you off. You get ticked off and curse or engage in “sign language” you are not proud of. You feel so angry and blame the driver for being willfully obnoxious. Meanwhile, the driver was also driving to work. The driver was actively engaged in thoughts about work. The driver simply was not thinking about his or her driving and made a mistake. Was he really guilty of willfully cutting you off. The driver was literally unconscious. The intent was not to cut you off; the intent was simply to get to work and resolve whatever issue was causing the driver to not concentrate on driving. But you become angry and upset and the whole experience can set the tone for your day. Why ruin your day. Forgive the mistake and continue with your day.I think we often convict others of crimes they really had no intention of committing.
How many times do you get upset with your boss, or your boss gets upset with you or a fellow worker and you don’t understand how the boss can possibly be blaming you or your coworker for something done or not done? You get together with colleagues and create a whole scenario about the situation, with everyone contributing a factor. Ah, but is the factor a fact or have you all just created a story?
It easy and quick to get angry. But, what if you took a step back, took a deep breath, and thought to yourself, relax. Don’t jump to conclusions. Sometimes it sounds insulting and accusatory. Most often, it’s not really about you. It’s usually about an internal struggle of the other person. So relax, take a step back, take a deep breath and think. Forgive the situation. Often, it’s really not about you as much as it is about other conflicts. If it is about you, what is the conflict within you? Forgive and let go. Don’t create stories. Stick with the facts and don’t judge. Forgive and let go and give yourself an opportunity to grow.
For every drop, there is a lift on this roller coaster of life. No matter what the situation, step back, take a deep breath and relax. Find the point in the ride you enjoy and concentrate on that. Learn to enjoy the ride and let the bumps along the way just go by the wayside. Take your seat, open your eyes and enjoy the ride.
And if you find you need a little help, guidance or support on this roller coaster of life, call 516-236-3290. My office is located in Lynbrook, New York but I have phone sessions as well as skype sessions so you do not need to be local.
Who Is Responsible?…
I have been working on this site for many years. I have much to offer and am willing to put my all into this. I am a therapist with life strategies that make sense. I’m not into analysis, long term therapeutic interventions, or figuring out why we do what we do. I want to help people figure out what to do to get the results they want out of life.
We have reached the point where six year olds are murdered! Schools are not safe therefore our children are not safe. How does that make sense? Twenty, six year olds, were murdered! The killer was troubled. Really? And no one thought it could get this bad? No one saw the signs? We seem to be going through life, blind, as bystanders. Everyone sees, but no one does anything. And now, twenty, six year olds were murdered. No one knew? No one saw there was a serious problem? I am of course referring to the tragedy of Sandy Hook.
Some parents say, no,not my child. I reach out to say, your child is showing signs that concern me. I tell parents, their children are in pain to get the response, ” not my child.”
I was somewhat guilty of the same response. When my son first showing signs of drug use, abuse and later addiction, I did not see the signs. Honestly, I didn’t know the signs. I knew something was wrong but did not know what. After all, he was an adolescent going through changes and stages that were normal for his age. I knew he was having difficulty but never thought it was drugs. I knew he was struggling but I thought it was with growing up. So what did we do, we brought him for therapy. You may not know what your children are going through, but you do know when something is wrong.
We are responsible for what we do in life. We are responsible to respond to the signs. We are responsible to evaluate our pain and to move forward in life. We are responsible to ask for help when we don’t have the answers. We are responsible for our children. We are responsible to get the help they need.
Don’t wait for tragedy. Get the help you need now. Life is a struggle and it is not easy to get through the challenges. ASK for help. You don’t have all the answers. No one has all the answers. Just don’t go it alone. Get the help you need along the way. Contact Madelynan Doyle at mdoyle@yourexcellence within.org . Or call 516-236-3290 for an office visit in Lynbrook, New York. But if you are not local, phone sessions and skype sessions are available.
Expect To Be Amazed By Life And You Will!
Do you ever get amazed by life? Today is an absolutely exquisite day in New York. It’s probably in the seventies with a nice breeze, not really cool but also not warm like you get in the spring and summer. A lot of the leaves have turned colors and many of them are falling to the ground. You still see a lot of green but there are oranges, browns and reds along with yellows and various shades of green. It has a fall look but almost a spring feel. The birds are singing and the squirrels playing. It’s one of those days when it’s just great to be alive! It’s also one of those days when you are aware there is a power greater than yourself. You feel the change in the universe. It may be one of the last really comfortably warm, gorgeous days left before we see the colder air come in, the trees become bare, and watch the earth appear to go dormant through the winter season. It’s a day calling you outside saying, “Come and enjoy. Soon it will change and you will be inside escaping the cold.”
I love living in the northeast and enjoying the change of seasons. It makes me aware that change always comes. Change occurs in nature; it occurs in relationships; it occurs in careers; it occurs throughout every aspect of life. I believe that change is good. Change helps us to know we are alive and that no matter what is going on in your life, change will come once again. It always does. And because of this, there is always hope for the better. There is always the expectation for a brighter day.
No matter how happy, rich, intelligent, creative, or whatever, we always reach for more and reach
for the better. We know that change comes and from that, we always want more, we always want better. We always want to move forward. Once we have achieved a goal, we automatically set another. This is helpful to think about when you are in a slump and feel you are stuck. The reality is, you are never stuck. Change always occurs. You may think you are stuck, but that thought is an illusion. No matter what, change is always happening. Expect good things to come.
We are vibrational beings. We are energy, just like the trees. They may be loosing their leaves preparing for winter. And in the winter when they are looking barron, they are simply storing their energy to bloom once again in the spring. We may feel stuck, but perhaps we too are storing our energy so that we too can bloom when the time is right. We change like nature. Sometimes our energy ebbs and then flows. Be patient with whatever state you may feel you are in and have faith that the state will change. Change always comes. There is a rhythm to life. Enjoy and appreciate the rhythm. Enjoy and appreciate each day. Enjoy and appreciate you. Expect the best from life and then, demand it! And most of all, enjoy it!
If you are struggling with finding your joy, call 516-236-3290 for an office visit in Lynbrook, New York and if you aren’t local, ask for a phone session or a skype session instead.
What Is Life All About????
This week has been one of the longest weeks of my life and that is because one of the young men, thirteen years old, that I work with, DIED !!!! When this happens, lots of questions surface; ” What is life all about? Why did this happen to him? How could he die at thirteen? How does this make sense?” On and on….. This truly is a heartbreak. This young man was a well adjusted, smart, kind, sweet young man who never got involved in the early teenage “drama”. He was respectful, caring, intelligent and happy. He was also an ONLY child. How devestating is that? How devesating is the whole thing.
When a young person dies, we all feel like something is wrong in the universe. It’s like life has been turned upside down. It is not the natural progression. A parent should never bury his or her child. Other children, their peers, try desperately to find an answer for why this could happen. In this case, there was a dirt bike accident. Sal, this lovely young man, loved going to the country and riding his dirt bike. He was a child who always used his helmet and followed the safety laws, however this time, it was extremely hot, and he went without his helmet. His peers want to think that it’s because he didn’t wear his helmet that he is dead. They want something to blame so they can understand the tragedy. The fact is that whether or not he had worn his helmet, he would not have survived this accident. His bike hit a rock that sent his bike into a tree. His neck was broken on impact. Helmet or otherwise, he would not have survived. Sal had made this trip hundreds of times before this final ride. He simply hit this rock in such a way that the rest lined up and on impact, his life was over. No one could have set this up. It seems so clearly that this was fate. So sad, so tragic. How do we understand?
I’ve been speaking with his classmates and teachers all week. Each person grieves according to his or her own style. One young man, one of his closest friends, couldn’t eat for several days. Another young girl, who considers herself his best friend, put on a stoic look, listened to what everyone had to say, held all feelings in and waited to go to the bathroom, alone, to sob uncontrollably. She prefers to pretend he is still alive. She doesn’t want any reminders of his death so she can pretend he will walk in the door any minute. Another young girl is upset that we can’t sign and paint the handball court where Sal would play every day and is desperately trying to find a way to leave a permanent, artistic display to remind all children, now and in the future, of Sal. She is desperate to not have him ever forgotten. Some cry. Some make jokes. Some just talk about their memories. Others remain quiet displaying their sadness in their facial expressions. How do we make sense of such a tragedy?
These tragedies force us to look at our beliefs. Who had this plan to take this beautiful, bright, wonderful young man? It was certainly no plan of anyone on earth. It has to be the plan of a power greater than all of us. In a moment of time, his life was ended. How does this make sense? How can God let this happen? Is there a God at all? Our minds go in the direction of doubt, anger, confusion, and pain. What is life all about?
I believe that we are put on this earth to learn life lessons. We are born, and eventually we all die. What we do in between those events is what counts. How we learn our lessons and how we apply those lessons determines how our life will go. Sal was sweet, kind, loving and happy. He always lived by the golden rule: do unto others as you want done unto you. He treated everyone with respect and caring. He never got into drama and was never unkind. He lived a life of loving. At thirteen, he knew that happiness came out of goodness and love. Many people live many years and don’t learn that the secret of a good and happy life. They don’t learn that the secret of life is all about love. Sal fulfilled his life’s purpose in thirteen years!
I truly believe that life is all about learning to love one another. I believe everything happens for reason, usually a reason to teach us a valuable life lesson. This young man lived a life of love. He judged no one. He was always happy. He was always caring and loving. He understood what life is all about and lived by love. At thirteen he knew what many don’t get until they are old and grey. He knew how to forgive others and love them no matter how difficult they could be. He loved and everyone loved him back. We all need to learn to love, to forgive those we think have wronged us, and open our hearts to love. That is what I think life is all about and in Sal’s short, thirteen years, he understood what life is all about and lived by it. It was an honor to have my life touched by Sal and I hope we can all learn by his example. Live a life of love. We miss you Sal.
Don’t You Just Love The Spring? Time For Spring Cleaning!
The sound of the birds chirping. Everything gets green. The flowers start budding and there is beautiful color everywhere. You take off the layers of clothing and look forward to going out. You don’t mind doing things because the heavy burden of winter gear is all over with and put out of sight. Everything is better. Everything feels better. Everything looks better. You are better.
Time to spring clean. You clean the windows and open them throughout the house so the air begins to flow and you actually feel your connection to the universe. You hear the birds singing, watch the squirrels chasing one another, and hear the people as they walk by with their dogs. You want to freshen up the house, take out the summer clothes and catch some of the rays of the sun while you feel this renewal within you and all around you. You have energy again. You walk with a bounce. You clean with the music playing and you find that you are looking forward. You are looking forward to the warm weather and the season of summer and of being outside.
While you are cleaning everything outside: the house, the walls, the windows, the furniture, the lawn, the garden, what about the internal cleaning? How do you clean up your spirit? How do you clean up your mindset? How do you clean up your attitude? You already feel your winter blues lifting. The weather alone makes you happier and hopeful. Now is the time to clean up whatever thought patterns that have been bringing you down or standing in your way of moving forward. Allow yourself to grow with the garden.
Contact Madelynan Doyle at 516-236-3290 for some Spring Time, Personal Growth for some personal development and spring cleaning. Office sessions are available in Lynbrook, New York but if you are not local, ask for a phone session or skype session.